boha {translation: stupid}

You know that song on Wicked called Loathing? Please, play that through your head while you read this post. It will really help capture the emotion I'll be trying to portray. Thanks.

College has started, and I went into this semester with a shocking, gung-ho attitude. I was ready to dominate all my classes, get amazing grades, make new friends, and all that college life jazz. Basically, my intentions were really high. This semester was my semester. Was... {sigh..}

This ^^^ happy-go-lucky attitude of mine was instantly crushed when I walked into my Portuguese class. My beginners Portuguese class. My Portuguese class you're supposed to go into have no, zip, zilch, zippo, prior knowledge or experience with the Portuguese language.

Um, hi. I walk in, sit down, and guess what I find out? My entire, and this is no exaggeration, I swear, entire class of "beginners" in Portuguese, speak the language, if not fluently, almost fluently.

It all comes down to this, they know the language. I know the language NOT.

My lovely professor has apparently decided to pay no attention to little struggling me. I guess in her mind, because 99% of the class knows the language, she can go on her merry way and keep on progressing with the lessons, having almost solid Portuguese conversations with the whole class. Oh, wait. Not the whole class. There is that little underdog Chelsea who is so utterly lost, she is constantly contemplating running, screaming out of the classroom in a fit of frustration, anger, embarrassment, confusion, etc.

What makes the matters worse, is I sit next to this guy. This guy who I'd enjoy stabbing in the eyeball with a pen. He is an RM, who {of course} served in Brazil, and consequently speaks beautiful, fluent Portuguese. Upon first meeting Mr. RM, I thought BOO-YAH! this class will be an easy A because he'll help me. Boy, was I wrong. He. Is. A. Jerk. A big ol' nerdy, evil, goody-two-shoes, thinks he's Mr. perfect, know-it-all, jerk. The two of us are often paired together since we sit next to each other. Actually, let me rephrase that. Since he sits next to me. I try to avoid him and his arrogant ways, but no matter where I sit, he always manages to weasel his intelligent little body to the seat right next to mine. I'm pretty sure he's trying to impress me. Trying to flirt with me... Well, he's terrible at it. Anyway... So we're partnered a lot. He thinks he's so fancy, so sometimes he'll talk to me in only Portuguese. Or laugh as I struggle through taking notes, trying to spell things right, and remember what I'm speedily being taught. I want to slug him. I could probably take him.

Dear Know-It-All Partner,

Congratulations in being fluent in this language. I'm proud of you. Good for you, for serving a mission. You rock. But guess what?! You are in a BEGINNERS Portuguese class, and I am a beginner. Yes, I'm the only beginner, but still... Just, be nice to me, you big weird-o.

Love, {kinda}

Chels

Here's an example or two. Today we learned, in Brazil, if someone were to ask you if you like their cooking, basically you just say "oooooooooo," very dramatically. ....We had to ask questions back-and-fourth with our partners, and of course, this is what RM asks me. But he didn't ask me in English. He asked me in Portuguese. Normally, that'd be okay in a Portuguese class, but he knows all too well, I barely speak it. So really, its just freaking annoying, and he knows it. I don't know how the heck you say "Do you like my cooking?" in that language... So I stared at him, trying to hold myself back from snapping his glasses in half. He then says in a snotty, I'm-clearly-so-much-better-than-you, voice, "Do you like my cooking?" I answer him very unenthusiastically, "oooooo." Stupid.

Our professor allows us to look at our notes when we're practicing conversations with each other... So silly me to think I actually can do that. Any time I'm paired up with Mr. Meanie, and I start to look at my notes, he scolds me, "Don't look at your notes. You won't learn that way." I ignore him, look at my notes, and answer, most likely butchering the pronunciation, which I know ticks him off. So in a way, I totally love the fact I'm the worst at Portuguese.

Now besides all that, I have some more venting to do.

Is that annoying?! For goodness sakes, this class is supposed to be filled with a bunch of clueless English speakers. Yet, instead, its a bunch of talented, bilingual students, and Chelsea, who is very jealous of them, all.

In my defense, I do know some Portuguese. Just look at the title of this post! I'm learning it, but only because I study my little bum off at home, since my professor moves at the fastest pace, EVER. If this were truly a class of beginners, I'd probably be doing just fine, but because I have such fabulous luck, of course I'm in a class with a bunch of braniacs. Really, could this be cooler? {said insanely sarcastically.}

Looks like I'm going to have to break out some serious yoga and mediation to deal with the stress of my enemy language. Portuguese.